SHARING THE MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS ADVOCACY, HERE’S A 4-PART STORY OF A LADY, CLINICALLY DIAGNOSED WITH MANIC BIPOLAR DISORDER 1. BASED ON A TRUE STORY. 

Continued from PART 1, PART 2, and PART 3.

In 2018, I started to feel happy again. Life is starting to feel good again. My treatment plan was finally working. I was sleeping regular hours, I had a routine at work and my family was doing well. I was getting regular cuddle time with my favorite guy. I can eat whatever I want. As long as I took my medications and saw my two partners in combating this illness, I think I could get well. My psychiatrist told me that I was self-aware so that definitely helped me stay on track. He was glad to see my app because it shows him if I took my medicine or not, what my mood chart looked like and what I was doing. He wanted to see my triggers so we could avoid them. He was always worried for me because I met up with strangers. But he was impressed that I could recognize my own moods and he also told me that I’m finally mentally stable. My psychologist told me that I’m mentally stable to my delight. He confirmed that he watched the change in me from depressed to emotionally stable.

Talking about my past and present eventually led me to talk about my future. He was glad that I was taking meds because that was the first step. The other step is praying so I could finally feel closer to God again. I can also say that I’m blessed to be a part of a company that was understanding of my condition. I was working in my dream company and I was earning what I’m worth. Even though my two closest friends have resigned, I’ve stayed because I believed in their values. Also, my vices were under control. I’ve finally stopped seeing strange men and just focused my energy towards getting to know a guy that I really like. I don’t drink and smoke that much anymore. I guess you’d really lose your taste for it when you’ve had too much. My life was a real roller coaster with a lot of twists, turns and heart-stopping drops. I’ve been suicidal, depressed, manic and delusional. Bipolar disorder still makes my moods change in a minute or a month. It’s still responsible for some of my more questionable choices. Being self-aware is important for a creative soul like me.

I’ve got a wealth of experiences and lessons that I can use in the future when I share my stories. God knows that my stories are my treasures. The suffering, the bad choices and the consequences are still gifts in messy wrappers. As a writer, I am grateful for a lifetime of stories. That’s why I strive to be as authentic as possible and that means accepting my illness and sharing my personal story. WITHOUT FILTERS.

-END-

CONTRIBUTOR

NOELA CAMILLE BONILLA TUMESA

A 29 year old artistic writer, clinically diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder.

Currently living in Manila, and enjoying life as an “almost” tita.